All my life I’ve had people tell me;
“You’re 16. What do you know?
You don’t pay taxes.
You don’t pay bills or a mortgage.
You don’t worry about having a job.
You don’t have mouths to feed.”
I’m only 16.
But at the age of 13 I was already contemplating suicide.
At the age of 13 I was relentlessly told how ugly, fat, and untalented I was.
How I would never amount to anything.
At 15 I held a bottle of pills in my hands several times a week.
At 15 my parents fought so loudly the whole house would shake.
At 15 I started telling myself how fat and worthless I was.
At 15 I stopped eating for two months.
By the age of 16 my thighs were covered in battle scars.
At 16 I learned what it was like to pray every night that I wouldn’t wake up to see the sun.
At 16 I swallowed a bottle of pills and had my stomach pumped in the middle 3rd period.
At 16 I woke up in a hospital and crying and screaming because I wasn’t dead.
At 16 I was told my depression and anxiety were just cries for attention.
At 16 I learned what it was like to feel the rejection from the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally.
I learned what it was like to feel the love my parents used to have for me drain out of their eyes.
So I maybe 16 but I feel like I am a thousand years old. I have fought battles you cannot even begin to imagine.
I have endured years of relentless torment and taunts, and when I asked for help I was told I deserved it.
I may be 16 but I have endured more than you ever have in your 36 years of life.
So I may not have to pay taxes.
But at 16 I have anxiety attacks over the piles of homework I have to turn in the next day.
I may not have to worry about feeding my kids.
but even after 2 years of rehabilitation I still get depressed if I eat too much.
So you tell me;
“You’re 16. What do you know?”
And my answer will always be;
“Far too much”
I never knew I was addicted, until I tried to stop.
Do not ground your child because you caught them putting a cigarette flame to their wrist.
Do not discipline your child because they have cuts on their thighs.
Do not threaten to put your child in a mental institution because their only escape is self-harm.
Do not teach your children that if they open up to you about the scars on their bodies, the only thing they will get in return is punishment.
There’s a girl who wants to inspire people to carry on living and that life is worth it.
But maybe that girl is the one who needs inspiration the most.
She doesn’t believe life.
Life’s a lie - a big one at that.
Life doesn’t deserve to live.
She thinks of death daily.
She reminds herself of all the flaws she carries.
She thinks of how many people care.
And she doesn’t come up with one.
But then she thinks of ‘what’ cares about her.
And that’s the demons inside her.
But they only care of her death.
But at least they care about something to do with her.
She thinks that maybe that’s all she should care about.
And she starts to.
Until that’s the only thing she does care about.
But no one sees that.
They only see the smile she shows.
Never the tears she leaves behind.
But hey, whatever right?
It’s only another skeleton with skin covering it. There’s plenty more out there.
The girl who finally admitted defeat to herself.
perfect comment on the video of elsa singing from the first episode
when teachers actually start teaching on the first day of class